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Things I Have Learned in My Lifetime

In celebrating my recent birthday, I found myself caught up in a case of nostalgia. I never imagined I would really get this old. Not that I am old, mind you, but I have reached the point in life I never thought I would when I was younger. Had I known I would get this old, I would have saved some of the energy I wasted during my teenage years.

How was I to know that as you got older your supply of energy began diminishing?

When I was younger, I could not sit still for long and no matter where I went, I ran. It was impossible for me just to walk. Often my mother chided me by saying, "Slow down, young man." But I never could. I have finally come to the point where I am in harmony with my mother's desire. The only problem is, I am not a young man anymore.

Today, I can sit in my easy chair for hours and not even move. I keep a little mirror on the stand next to my chair so my wife can periodically check to see if I am still breathing. Often, the only indication of life is the occasional snoring.

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